Thursday, May 15, 2014

Worry in the Short Term

Work is overwhelming. I'm going through a crisis of identity, a crisis of what the h*** am I doing with myself???...pretty standard for someone my age, I guess. Twenty-somethings are met by this big shiny world and there are just so many options and we have so much energy so we dive right in and it's this great big experiment in figuring out what on earth is going on.

It's stressful.

In the middle of an emotional crisis yesterday, I sat down to read emails and saw one of my favorite bloggers had posted again. Her post was about meeting one of her idols, and as I skimmed it, there was one sentence I particularly needed:

"The Psalmist in his present crisis looks back and remembers all that God has done in the past."

In the present crisis, he looks back. He gets a broader scope. So much of my worry consists in the right here, right now. I'm hungry but can't find anything worth eating. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do and so am hiding from my office, making the problem worse. I'm torn between people I love who disagree hotly with one another.

My worries become less overwhelming when I back over my life and realize that my life has ACTUALLY fallen to pieces only a time or two. What caused my life to fall apart was never something I had in my repertoire of worries at the time, either! In the end, the pieces were put back together (usually by God and friends, with only a few helpful groans from me) and I kept going. Life continued.

Looking forward also helps. In the short term life sucks, but in the long term I imagine I'll be sitting at a desk much like this one, typing away on a computer creating stories and watching my latest sci-fi/superhero/action show (right now I'm on Batman Beyond!). I'll still be friends with all those people who hotly disagree, but life will have moved on and they won't talk about it much any more. Most of all, I'll still have God, the lifeline I cling to for what remains of my sanity.

Poets and psalmists and songwriters have it right: you mourn a little, then you look back, you look forward, and you cross the road. God will be faithful again. The worry will be over soon.

Word count: 426.